Another Year to LIVE

Just an hour ago, I was standing by our house's gate looking at an empty street... I wandered, looked around and saw nothing but a motorcycle passing by. It made me think, how come this busy and loud street last night became suddenly a lonely and dark road. I reflected on the previous years of this unrestricted place; there were happy thoughts and there were gloomy.. I thought I was collecting memories but I realized It was life unfolding in front of me. 


When I was in Grade School, I probably was the Most energized kid during this time of the year. I was excited for Decorating the Christmas Tree, Seeing Christmas decors and lights, Christmas Parties, Going to Simbang Gabi, Noche Buena, Christmas Caroling, Gifts from Santa, Aguinaldo from Titos and Titas, Seeing ALL of my cousins and Fireworks Display during NYE... However, I cannot remember the last time I felt that ultimate happiness. 
The moment my mother went abroad, all the people dear to me started leaving and I saw how the number of my family members declined each year. Though It wasn't a bad thing - It was sad. My dad left, My titas went abroad, my nanay goes to US every now and then AND my sisters got married.. They didn't literally left but every Christmas, I felt how alone I was. 


2001 my sisters both got married! Meaning - every holiday season, they had to go to their husband's family's Christmas Celebrations leaving me and Erica, companion-less. It didn't bother me at first, I was really wishing that somehow, I'll get the chance to be alone with Erica without my nephews running around and messing with stuffs. 
2005 my Tita Helen passed away. She's one of those people who took care of me while my mom was away. I was left at home with Nanay, spending nights of kwentos about "noong araw". 
2008 Nanay passed on as well. - It was one of my life's down moment!
2009 My dad also died and after 7 months, my sister Janice was also called up in heaven too.


Today, my first day for year 2012 was spent in Bed -- reminiscing and crying over being alone and how I don't want to get used to being lonesome. I wondered how my life turned upside down from the lovely celebrations of Jesus' birthday to eating alone during New Year. 
I looked back on the years where our street was full of happy neighbors; celebrating a brand new year to live (with sparkling drinks on hand) with endless fireworks display to watch and then, I asked myself... are those times going to happen again? with people leaving town and building families of their own, I answered myself -NO. 

Yes, I did I shed a few tears because I miss my family, I miss my wonderful neighborhood but I thought; "Life really does CHANGE". All of these things made me happy back then and instead of fussing over how it ended so bad.. I still have to Thank God for at least giving me a taste of how a childhood should be -- FUN!

2011 has been a good start for me and my family. After all of the loss we had, God has been so good that he has blessed me and my family despite of our unworthiness and sinfulness. I can sit here and tell you my dear readers (if there are), that my family's bond and strength is already at its best. We've learned to accept and understand our differences, Love one another unconditionally and Support each others weaknesses and strengths.

When I closed our gate, I turned my back with a smile to wave goodbye to the inspiring 2011 and walked my way to welcome an exciting 2012. I thank God that even I didn't grew up with a complete happy family, He gave me the best family I could ever need. I want to Thank the Lord for helping me and my family surpass the obstacles that came our way. Thank you because I know that when you take away something from us, you will give something better. I Trust your plans my Lord, so.. bring it on! =)

HAPPY NEW YEAR BLOGGERS!!

xoxo